England cricket marriage heading for messy divorce

England captain Michael Vaughan today made the politically astute move of blaming his best player for England’s pitiful showing in the 2007 World Cup.

Vaughan, who himself contributed by getting England’s No. 3 to the crease nice and early in each match, blamed Andrew Flintoff’s drinking binge at the start of the tournament for ruining the team’s chances.

“I know the thought of playing in a team as bereft of talent as this one would be enough to drive anyone to drink, but we really needed Freddie in a fit state when we took on the cricketing might of Canada”, Vaughan said.

Refuting the claim that he had received preferential treatment from the selectors despite a one-day batting record to rival Glen McGrath’s, Vaughan humbly said “A day will come when England will be better without me but at the minute I think they're a lot better off with me.”

“Beating up on a depleted West Indies attack on my own turf might make some people think I’m a bit of a flat-track bully. But I know I’d be able do the same to Australia on a bouncy Perth pitch and it’s knowing this fact that makes me so special as a batsman and avoids any self-delusion creeping in.”